1. |
Can't Fake
01:15
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One foot
in front of the other, now that’s the way
and keep on walking
home waits
so don’t keep it waiting another day
there’s no stopping
So long
I won’t be coming back here again
‘cause I already left
Come on
there’s no other proof for it anyway
you can’t fake showing up
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2. |
Here (UNODIR)
04:30
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Here, UNODIR
(“UNODIR” is military lingo for, “UNless Other DIRected”
Sometimes when I think of staying home,
I imagine getting small, and shriveling
or spreading overfed and dull.
When you’re planted, you can’t move
You wait for every rain
the seasons change around you, and you haven’t got a say
you haven’t got a say
Couldn’t we just go? Isn’t there some place
that I was promised in my youth?
Among the hills,
across the ocean?
And do I hear you call my name,
or do I only hear an echo?
He said, settle down,
and give your daughters and your sons,
and pray for this land
where you just now find yourself
and plow the ground
here you are for now,
and wanderlust makes fools of us
don’t lose the wonder of the place
where you are
When your back-door neighbor lay
in a coma on her bed,
You were there
you were there to hold her hand, and sing, and pray
and you were there to see her buried
And you were there
when the winter winds were cold
when every day brought another inch of snow
You were there to shovel out
and feed the birds outside your window
Here you are
to plant the seeds and stay to tend,
to rise and fall, like the ocean on the sand,
in faithfulness,
another day, another year
not letting fear, or doubts or sorrow
steal today or curse tomorrow
keep on loving
let yourself be known
He said, settle down…
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3. |
Can you feel the earth?
03:30
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Can you feel the earth?
We're spinning
It makes me dizzy
It makes me dizzy
Can you feel the speed?
We're moving
Hurtling through the black
On a bouncy ball
Can you feel the miles
They're passing
We scatter out our skin
Into space rising and falling like waves
Pile up some stones
Leave a mark
Light up the night
Leave a spark
Can you feel the impact
Of rocks falling
The earth is scarring
The earth is scarring
Can you feel the worn track
Of this orbit?
We've been here before
We've been here before
We've been here before
Masses to masses
Stardust to stardust
Nothing's really ever standing still
Nothing's really ever standing still
Can you feel the paint?
It's peeling
Can you feel it in your bones?
This aching.
We're planetary pilgrims, orbiting the fire
Empty space and carbon,
Soul, virtue, and desire
Repeat 1
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4. |
Anchor Me
04:00
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Open water
Open sea
Island conversations
A silence in between
Each harbor seems like home
Each anchor weighed a stab
Rocking back and forth
I dig my fingers in the sand
Anchor me
Hold me fast, I've been losing my grip
On this little piece of flotsam
Open sky
The days roll by
Thirst and hunger on my tongue
The sharks they wait
And sirens sing
Sweet songs that sound like home
The fog rolls in, Polaris lost,
I feel the soft caress
Of waves and wind
Of rise and fall
The deep beckons me to death
Anchor me
Hold me fast
I'm lost at sea
Take me home
I've let out all my rope
And not hit bottom
Hook in a pretty mouth
The seafarer drinks to forget himself
Hoping that he might one day be whole
That the emptiness of open sea
The cutting blade and the dirty hearts
Of men might melt away to hearth
But still a longing calls me farther on
Something tells me this is not yet home
Anchor me
So I don't put my roots in the temporary
Hold me fast
Harbor me within Your perfect rest
All the arms and nets I've grasped for
All the lines that I've reeled in
I've caught nothing and nothing's caught me
But I keep running aground
On every little reef
I keep getting caught up in the rigging.
Tying knots at portside
Just to untie again
Anchor me
Hold me fast upon the journey
Lift my eyes
Clear the fog and let me see the light
And as I come to the edge
Time and time again
Harbor my heart
Anchor me within
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5. |
This is Dubai
03:54
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This is Dubai
Do you hear your sister crying? It's another call to prayer,
she’s gonna miss your nightly lullaby.
Your mother has been doing extra mothery things
while she still has the right.
You're packing up your room, you're leaving gifts around the house,
We're glad, and scared, and peaceful combined.
Nineteen years is old enough, but not a lot of time
to turn a woman into a bride
And oh! Is it bravery
that brought me out to the UAE
or is it childlike love?
‘Cause I call you my bosom friend
but will this wedding bring an end
to all we’ve shared so far?
We saw your new apartment on the 26th floor,
the color swatches pasted on the wall:
turquoise, peach, and yellow, gray and purpley plum,
somehow you’re gonna make it a home.
Last night we slept in your bed, talking late into the night.
Tonight you sleep alone for the last time
tomorrow will come and the next thing you know
you will be someone’s wife.
For eight years
we’ve dreamed about this day
the day the two are made into one
and I don’t understand the cost,
it feels suspiciously like loss
it’s lonelier this side of the knot.
But it was right to let the harmony begin
Love so desired, and love inspired
a song that two could sing.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah
There’s moonlight on the desert sand
and a starry ring on your left hand,
good grief, is this dust in my eyes?
‘Cause I came here to let you know I love you
and to let you go, so
I guess this is Dubai.
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6. |
Harbour (My Home)
04:35
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Fair winds and full sails
A song in my chest
I have wandered oceans wide
And left pieces there behind
Polaris bright I sojourn on
Hoping for a far-off home
The deep echoes in my chest
Harbor of my heart
I have strayed
Cup me in your palm
Keep me safe
Keep me safe
Dark skies and flotsam
A beating in my chest
Among the wreckage
I'm lost again
Knuckles white I'm holding on
Hoping for an island rest
The deep beckons me to death
I have slept in many harbors
Dreamed on many shores
Seen a thousand sunsets
Walked a thousand foreign skies
I have sought and I have grasped
I have hoped and I have lost
I have hoped and I have lost
Harbor of my heart
I have strayed
Cup me in your palm
Keep me safe
You are my home
Harbor me
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7. |
The Great Expanse
02:14
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The road is the ocean
it terrifies me with its vastness
where does it end?
How do I know myself in the great expanse?
Sirens call and caterwaul
Will I ever understand
the fatal mundane?
I leave home crossing myself
crossing the waves
praying, “take me, if there’s someone to take”
This inhuman element,
the speed at which we pass by each other
(also in shells
which we shed
looking naked and small
to find another one larger to hide in)
We read the sky
for red and yellow and green
showing our lights
signaling each other
making currents with our
small observances
This law of life and death:
how do we follow?
How do we follow in the great expanse?
You are the compass
there is no map
Bring me there
bring me home
bring me there
bring me home
Keep me watching the stars
keep me dropping my crumbs
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8. |
Airships
03:42
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Airships empty out like waves
Crashing to the shore
Arms that meet us do not know
Our bodies from our souls
I try to catch my breath in this
Mist and cigarettes
I'm at least 2,000 miles from here
In at least four different nations
I try to smile and not let show
The pain and running shock
I hashtag liberally #firstworldproblems
The way my friends all talk
They are keys to my heart
That I had thought
I had lost many years ago
And when I leave
I feel exposed
Like a fish left out of water
Window expectations high
My heart twirls in my chest
Rejected each time more and more
But also, full and seen
This putting on a face begins
To wear me to my core
My bloody heart within me screams
"More and please no more"
On the wing up high
The clouds go sailing by
Pressurized inside
My soul is forever in flight
(Repeat 1)
(Repeat 1st four lines?)
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9. |
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Roma Termini
I feel closer to you, somehow,
in this light.
In this lack of sleep, this dreaming,
sweating, dying. Dying. Feeling love flame out,
flame within quietly,
in a wordless prayer.
Love burns, and light burns,
and the world is hard, and the world is beautiful.
We are strangers.
I do not know you. But I want to.
I want birds to fly between us.
I want the softness of the stars to bind us.
For words to mold into movement, and quietness.
And mornings, and sunlight.
And light burns, and love burns.
Roma Termini. Sweat, urine, alcohol.
Mouths hanging open. Green fields, feathery tops.
Slanting light. Reflected light. Empty. Clear. Clarity.
Images swimming,
emerging, fading.
Interconnecting.
Eyes.
Being destined.
Destiny.
And where we’re headed.
Somewhere. Anywhere we go. Everywhere, You are.
The dropping out from underneath,
the guttural moan. The wail.
No longer pretending.
This is real, and this
is real. And this is a practice
of reality. Holding in,
letting out, not trying. Doing without.
Doing without trying.
My delight. My beloved. My weak, my lovely one.
Will you look at me?
Remember your first love.
Purity is not denying love – it is loving
one thing only.
Jesus.
Another beauty.
A look that might have meaning,
that might have permanence.
That might span continents.
I trust you to remember,
but you may not believe. So believe.
Believe.
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James Metelak Kyrgyzstan
Indie-folk Acoustic Singer-Songwriter Multilingual World Traveler Music That is Sometimes to God, and sometimes not.
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