Brigantine EP

by Sandpiper Parade

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about

These songs were written and recorded during my nine months living in Brigantine, NJ.

credits

released July 10, 2011

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about

James Metelak Brigantine, New Jersey

Indie-folk Acoustic Singer-Songwriter Multilingual World Traveler Music That is Sometimes to God, and sometimes not.

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Track Name: If and When and Gone
If and When and Gone

How many more hearts will you break
Before you just go settle down
And how many breaks will it take
'Fore you go put a stake in the ground
How long will you lie to yourself
About how you feel so alone?
How long til you sink in my arms
And stop skipping around like a stone

Or if you go
I hope you find some rest
And all your dreams
Spill out into your hands

Or maybe you should let them go
I don't want a hero
I just want your love

How many transplantings can that
Young weathered heart survive?
Will you ever just stop to rest
Leave the world to do its own crying?
I don't think you can.
I don't think you can.

So when you go
I hope you find some rest
And that your dreams
Don't choke you in the end

Well maybe you should let them go
I don't need no hero
I don't want your love

You're somewhere out there past that old sunset
Staying up late, writing your friends
Everywhere you go you're more thin,
you're more stretched
Everywhere you go the more I know
You won't come back

So now you're gone
I hope that we'll be friends
And that your dreams
Will maybe help you rest
Well maybe I should let you
I don't need a hero
I'll hang up the phone
Maybe I should let you go
I don't need your love
I'm ok on my own.
Track Name: Sky-Filled Hands
Waves colour mosaic rearrange the shore
Sorting out shells and smooth black stones
Floating disc in the air
Skipping rocks to the moon
The thick twilight air--is cold and it's warm
And it's stirring the algae
In the green milky way
The stars are flashing a smile and a wink
I think I could fall back in love today
Love feels like falling back down on my knees

Singing God don't hurt me
This heart can barely breathe
Take, what you see
Sand spills out my hands
I'd rather hold sky
You and I, You and I

When looking for bosoms to rest my head on
I lost my heart like a good skipping stone
My hands clatter madly for something smooth to hold
Cuz I lost my sky, I lost my rope
I'm choking up softly, I won't shed a tear
But I'll be destroyed if the winds blow back here
My hair is all dancing, capricious and mad
You brush my cheek and I hold my breath

Screaming God don't hurt me
This soul can barely breathe
I'm broken inside you see
Sand spills out my hands
I'd rather hold sky

You and I, You and I
I've been trying to fill in this blank
With some plan, with this ink
Riding away on a pen and a scheme
Saying "Can't catch me, Can't catch me"
I'm so bad, I'm so dead, I'm a heresy

Look me straight in the eye
You don't buy--my foolish crime
Look me straight in the eye
I see myself and I just want to cry

Water black, moon is full
The sky is so thick you could walk right into it
Breathe me in, let me die to this
We'll kayak the quasars, we'll sit in the quiet
And breathe, breathe me out, warm and soft
Change me now
Hardly here
I can hear your whisper call out

And I sing
God don't hurt me
I'll follow you into the sea
I'm so scared, I'm no saint
Sky-filled hands, stop to pray
You and I, You and I
You're my hope
Hope for this life
Track Name: Giedre's Song
Giedre's Song

All the people here work in boxes
They watch their boxes when they get home
Then they sleep on top of box springs
In little box rooms

The little beep box screams to wake up
With its little black block numerals
Then take a shower in the wash box
And grab a box of cereal
It's off to work in the
Cracker box train subway in the tubes in the ground'
Or behind the wheel of your boxcar the lights blink off and on
Before your eyes
All these cubicles and classrooms
Desks and pens and squares of tree-skin
Work all day for another paper for your box:
The diploma or the bank account.

And meanwhile the trees stretch restless and chaotic
Sighing with season's change
The animals are singing all around
The squawks and tweets and cooing sounds
Your smooth curved frame and fretted brow
Will never fit
In this eight million box town

All our box brains
and matchbox cathedrals
Boxed dinners
Our 24-box days and 30-some box moons
Could never hold the sun, a mouse
or your heart
or the Spirit
The world a whirl of wind and leaves and lives
That has no box sense, nor sense of proper time
It nips and blows at our ankles and chests
With its quarky, atomic, explosive, pulsing relativity
River runs, life runs
in a deeper stream
Track Name: Dad Up Above
Dad Up Above

Dad up above
There's a mess in the mirror
That I can't fix
I need You here
Push comes to shove,
I seek prayer or thought
But I miss You here
I miss you here

All of my life
Seems a rushing train, passing subway
I try to catch a handle on
My thoughts, my plans, and better things
I don't rest in Your love
I need Your love

Sit with me a while
Let's chat, stop and smile
It's been too long
Far too long
Hold me tight and still
I get lost in my will
Let Your kingdom come
Right here in us

All these fretted hopes, frustrated dreams
My fruits from never listening
Put me back on track
I can write a poem
I think I'm clever think I'm spriitual
I can save the world, think I'm good
Mercy mercy, mess of me, for that blasphemy
I'm lost again
Again

Dad up above
The strings of all the violin dreams
Choking me have brought me to my knees
I don't know how
To conjure You or see
I know You're right behind the scenes

Come out, inside with me (3x)
Track Name: Not Impressed
Not Impressed

You're the only one who's not impressed
By all the things I do
You think that I need to learn to rest
You patronize me but at least your aim is true

Outside--of my constant striving and frenetic life
I've tried--to convince the world
I'm no saint inside

But you--you love the mess and the beauty therein
And you--see my faults and the strengths too
That nobody else seems to see
Adoring fans are a poor excuse for friends

I don't know if I should hang around with you you're far too good
You slow me down, I feel exposed,
Unsafe and yet no one else engages
this heart like you do my friend
I'm scared I don't think I could
lose you again I'd lose myself

Or maybe that's what happens
When you come back
I don't know
I don't know
Track Name: Spectre
Spectre

I curled up with a stranger--on the bus
She felt safe from danger--in my arms
Am I the kind of person for one-night stands?
Or just a lonely boy with an empty hand?

We wondered at New York--and Washington
But this isn't a love song
It's an ache and a question
What was right and what was wrong
What was selfish, what was love, what was my
Fantasy romance apathy
Just someone to hold in selfish greed

We took the train to Brooklyn Heights
And when I put my arm around you, you didn't like
Our touch exposed to the day
I caught your smiling face
With all Manhattan beside
And you saw the statue
For the first time

I was late
You stepped off the train to go to Central Park
And your plane--took you far away
By the time--it got dark

Ghost in the metro glass
I miss you but I hardly know your name
I don't want to fall in love with you
But for some reason I miss you all the same
But once again, I'll turn away, I'm lonely

Ghosts in the metro glass
The many frames, the face, the past
I don't know how to love I don't think
Fingertips inside my hand
An aching back so you can rest
The phone line echoes my heart away
To the wind
Track Name: Looking For
Looking For

Looking for,
What am I looking for?
Thought I was only yours,
Well, I guess I lied.
I think sometimes
I get lost in my mind.
I wonder all the time
How this distance has grown.

Every day,
You come and look my way,
I'm playing hide and seek
Like you can't see me.

Where am I now?
When will I be found?
This heart wants to drown in you
But I'm still lost.

Here I am
Caught in the in-between
Wanting some kind of rest
Not finding anything
Your sweet pursuit
Begins to panic me
I am so scared that love
Will take everything

Where am I now?
When will I be found?
This heart wants to drown in you
But I'm still lost.

Shatter me.
Cast me upon your sea.
Hold me tight in your arms
Cuz I'm gonna run.
Take my plans;
Come and take everything.
Let me be lost inside
Your steady beat.

I'm here for now,
Mind racked with doubt.
This heart wants to drown in you
Take me under now.
You're right past my gasp.
Come fill up my breath.
Baptize the present and past
So I can walk with you,
So I can walk by you,
So I can walk with you
So I can walk by you
Again.